What is Emotional Intelligence?
Emotional intelligence is the psychology of understanding ourselves and others. It encompasses both recognizing and regulating our feelings and working effectively with others.
Unfortunately, some people are put off the topic by the “emotion” component of the name. Perhaps thinking it soft, fuzzy, and not appropriate for the task of getting serious work done. This is a shame because all leadership is built on emotional intelligence. To help elevate these topics, PMI has recently begun calling soft skills and emotional intelligence “Power Skills” to emphasize their significance.
EI Terminology
There are several emotional intelligence models in common use. They use slightly different names to describe similar concepts, so the terminology sometimes gets confusing. In this explanation, we will use the common names to explain terms. Instead of ideas such as “self-actualization,” we will talk about “learning what you are good at and developing those skills.” It takes a few more words but is easier to understand and apply. Most approaches label the measure of emotional intelligence as “Emotional Quotient” (EQ).
Core Ideas
The components of Emotional intelligence can be divided into four quadrants, as shown below.
On the left, we have working with ourselves (1) and (2) and on the right, dealing with others (3) and (4). The lower half of the image refers to being aware (of how we feel, and others feel) and the upper half addresses taking action based on this awareness.
Sometimes the left-hand column is referred to as inbound competencies because they look inward. And the With-Others, right-hand column is referred to as outbound skills or competencies because they are outward facing, towards others.
While we use all quadrants simultaneously, we generally develop in the numbered sequence. So, being aware of our emotions (1) allows us to better regulate them (2). Then, once we have our own feelings in check, we are more credible at interacting and influencing others. This starts by being aware of how other people feel (3) and then using the appropriate approach to interact with others (4).
Naming these quadrants gives us a comprehensive framework for discussing and developing our emotional intelligence.
Each of these colored boxes has a set of tools and techniques behind it. Most people do these things instinctively without labeling them, but it can be helpful for comprehension and revision to see them mapped out.
Or, if you prefer, as a mind-map.
In the exam, you will not be expected to memorize or recall all these categories. However, you might be asked a question that requires you to deduce which quadrant a situation refers to. For instance, recognizing if we are becoming frustrated (self-awareness, lower left, quadrant 1) vs getting people excited about the project vision (influencing others, upper right, quadrant 4).
How Project Managers Employ Emotional Intelligence
As a project manager or Scrum master, much of what we do is based on exercising emotional intelligence. We have the responsibility to inspire, motivate and influence team members and other stakeholders. We use EI first to get our own mental health and outlook in order, then to help promote collaboration with others.
Activities such as evaluating stakeholder engagement needs and conflict resolution are also built on EI concepts of empathy and social skills. Once we understand EI components, we see how leadership and collaboration – huge topics and the focus of thousands of books, are both examples of emotional intelligence at work.
Now we will walk through the model quadrants.
Personal (With Self)
Before we discuss how to understand, assist, and collaborate with others, let’s quickly cover the basics of personal (working with ourselves) emotional intelligence. This is important because if we cannot get these elements established, we will not be reliable or credible to others, and our efforts will fail to gain any traction.
Motivation
Motivation covers topics such as optimism, initiative, commitment, and drive. Optimism is centered on believing we can succeed more than fearing failure. It allows us to work towards goals regardless of barriers and setbacks as controllable factors, not fate.
Initiative deals with grabbing opportunities and working above and beyond to get results. It includes cutting through red-tape where necessary to achieve goals. Commitment is making the sacrifice of comfortable things to pursue a goal. It deals with searching for opportunities for accomplishing the mission.
Finally, drive covers working hard on getting results. Setting challenging goals and upgrading capabilities. Anyone seriously studying for their PMP exam understands these concepts of motivation. They explain the mindset of setting your mind to something and then pursuing it positively, knowing there will be challenges, but you can overcome them.
Self Awareness
Self-awareness is the ability to recognize and name our feelings as they occur. It is a critical step in allowing us to choose how we want to respond to a situation or stimulus.
A difference between the human mind and an animal mind is the pause for choice between stimulus and response. Poke a bear with a stick, and it will get angry. The stimulus (stick poke) prompts an automatic response (get angry.) Poke a person with a stick, and they can choose to respond differently, perhaps pretending to be interested in the stick and asking for a closer look at it, so they can snatch it from you and beat you with it. Self-awareness encompasses recognizing our emotions and how our reactions can impact our behaviors and performance.
For example, if we experience our ideas being ignored in a meeting, we could get frustrated and state them more forcefully, louder. Or recognize our feeling of frustration, link it to the tendency to get agitated and look for other ways to get our points across.
Self-awareness also involves being aware of our blind-spots and weaknesses. Maybe we love big ideas but get frustrated by details and petty procedures. Perhaps we love order and control and are uncomfortable with ambiguity and too many undecided options. Knowing our strengths, weaknesses, and blind spots allows us to partner and collaborate with people to create strong combinations.
Being self-aware allows us to plan our next move better. No longer automatically responding to every stimulus, we can select the best response for our goals. Also, aware of our strengths and weaknesses, we can make sure we are not caught off guard by something that is not our usual focus.
Self-Regulation
Self-regulation extends self-awareness. It is the ability to remain calm under pressure and stay focussed on goals in stressful environments. It also covers adapting to changing events and priorities. Being flexible when faced with numerous demands and creating innovative answers to problems.
There is also a moral compass component that helps guide behavior. This includes acknowledging our errors and establishing a reputation for honesty and credibility. So, we must behave in a morally correct way that is above suspicion and standing by principles.
The personal (with self) components of motivation, self-awareness and self-regulation form the firm foundation for working with others. To be listened to and taken seriously, we need to be viewed as positive, competent, and trustworthy. Then we can help teams and other stakeholders work together to deliver results. This starts with understanding who we are dealing with.
1.14.1 Assess Behavior
Assess behavior through the use of personality indicators.
This PMP exam content outline task of “Assess behavior through the use of personality indicators” is focussed on the lower right, awareness-level elements of the Interpersonal (With Others) EI quadrant of Empathy.
When we look deeper into the model, we see it is concerned with concepts such as Understanding Others and Political Awareness.
Empathy
Empathy is the capacity to understand and feel what another person is experiencing from within their frame of reference. Beyond just listening to others, empathy involves observing emotional cues and appreciating others’ points of view. Truly understanding how others feel is the first step towards developing them.
Active Listening
Empathy starts with properly understanding the situation and person we are speaking to. Active listening is the process of taking to heart the words and emotions being conveyed, and perhaps omitted. It is more than just listening to the words; it also takes note of emotions and the context of the conversation.
It is easy to have superficial conversations where we scan only for impacts to us, and thoughts such as “Is it my turn to speak now?” (Level 1 listening). Instead, we need to get into the mind of the speaker and understand their thoughts and emotions (Level 2 listening). Ideally, we should also take note of the context (private setting, public setting,) and other emotional cues such as other stakeholder reactions (Level 3 Listening).
Once we understand our team members and stakeholders, we can better recognize their achievements, provide helpful feedback and provide the coaching and mentoring as discussed in 1.13 Mentor Relevant Stakeholders.
The concept of Service Orientation covers recognizing customer needs and seeing things from a customer’s point of view. It allows us to create customer-focused teams and create strategies to increase customer satisfaction.
Leveraging diversity, as we saw in 1.2.2 Support Diversity and Inclusion, deals with appreciating a variety of viewpoints and ideologies. Showing consideration for diverse stakeholders and creating conditions where people feel welcomed, and they can thrive. It also includes objecting to discrimination and bigotry.
Personality Assessments
We can use personality assessments such as The Myers Briggs Type Indicator, DiSC, Truity, High5, or HEXACO to evaluate behavior and then tune our approach. Understanding where someone is on scales such as introverted to extroverted, data-driven or emotion-driven, etc. can help us choose approaches that appeal.
Being aware of our own personality traits also allows us to make sure we do not choose communication styles, collaboration formats or decision-making approaches that fit our preference, but exclude those of other participants.
1.14.2 Adjust to the Emotional Needs of Key Stakeholders
Analyze personality indicators and adjust to the emotional needs of key project stakeholders.
Once we are aware of other people’s needs and preferences, we can use the appropriate social skills to best interact with them. This moves us from the empathy quadrant, up into the social-skills quadrant.
Within this final domain, we find skills such as communication, collaboration, leadership, and conflict management.
Remember, the list of skills will not be tested in the exam, but you should be able to deduce where in the EI model a skill belongs. Self-control will be in the left (with self) column and in the upper Action related quadrant. Others are more difficult to remember, mentoring is an active role, but it is often grouped in the lower awareness quadrant of empathy.
Communicating and Connecting
A big part of a project manager’s role is communicating. This includes exchanging information, creating awareness, and establishing clear communications between stakeholders. Making connections is critical too. Teams are temporary communities and the sooner people get connected the sooner they can collaborate productively. Project managers play a facilitator role in this, creating casual networks, encouraging interaction, and keeping people informed.
Team Building and Collaboration
We need to go beyond connecting people and encourage team development with collaboration. This involves attracting team members, building team charters and creating an environment of psychological safety. This is so people feel like they belong, are not afraid to ask questions, can share their work, and if necessary, challenge the process.
Leadership and Influence
Domain 1.2 Lead a Team describes some of the leadership roles of a project manager. They include: Developing and communicating a compelling vision for the project. Modeling the desired behavior and helping others achieve their objectives through support and motivation. Protecting the team from interruptions and clearing the path of obstacles.
The skills linked to Influence involve winning people over through selling ideas and building solidarity for approval. Combined with leadership, influence helps the team continue to move forward, gaining approvals for work done, making responsible decisions, and removing items that might slow or stall the project.
Change Catalyst and Conflict Wrangler
Things rarely go to plan or as smoothly as we hope for. Some people resist change, others are just plain awkward for a good reason, or seemingly no reason at all. To overcome these tendencies, project managers need to advocate for the change being created. They also need to help “grease the tracks” ahead of the change, to help it go smoothly with less resistance.
Remember that projects are people-driven. They are thought up by people, undertaken by people, and used or experienced by yet more people. These people do not always agree, have the same views on how things should be done, or what success looks like. So, we cannot just hope everyone gets along and we can focus on our project plan. Conflict management is a critical skill for all project managers.
Domain 1.1 Manage Conflict covers the basic elements. The skills required include detecting potential problems early and determining if we need to intervene or if the issue is best resolved by the concerned parties. Other steps involve separating the issues from the people, evaluating options, and coming to consensus on the way forward.
Conflict management is one of the toughest social skills to develop because it exercises every quadrant of the emotional intelligence landscape. We use social skills for mediation, down through empathy for understanding people and into our own self-regulation to stop us from getting too emotional and making things worse. Then, to keep us working through the difficult tasks of conflict resolution, we need to draw on our self-control, motivation, drive and optimism. But, hey, if this job was easy, project management would not be in demand, or we would probably be replaced by robots!
The good news is that unlike IQ, which peaks in our youth, EQ is a skill and ability that we can continue to develop late into our adult lives. Our experiences and reflections increase our repertoire of skills and resilience. Using emotional intelligence is challenging since there is no easily formula to apply to every situation. However, with learning and practice we do improve, and it is a valuable and rewarding field of study.
Deliverables and Tools
- Personality profile assessments
- Communication plans
- Motivation triggers
- Performance reports
- Risk lists
- Emotional intelligence
- Empathy
- Listening skills
- Transparency
- Problem-solving
- Motivational models
Related Topics
- 1.1 Manage Conflict
- 1.2 Lead a Team
- 1.3 Support Team Performance
- 1.4 Empower Team Members and Stakeholders
- 1.5 Ensure Team Members/Stakeholders are Adequately Trained
- 1.6 Build a Team
- 1.8 Negotiate Project Agreements
- 1.9 Collaborate with Stakeholders
- 1.10 Build a Shared Understanding
- 1.11 Engage and Support Virtual Teams
- 1.12 Define Team Ground Rules
- 1.13 Mentor Relevant Stakeholders
- 2.2 Manage Communications
- 2.4 Engage Stakeholders
- 2.5 Plan and Manage Resources
Further Reading
Explore these topics via an interactive mind map. (Click the nodes to expand/collapse, drag to pan, scroll/pinch to zoom.)
